Monday, August 30, 2010

Not all superheroes wear capes...



Last Father’s Day I was looking for just the right card when I found one I thought was perfect. It simply said “not all superheroes wear capes.” That one line absolutely sums up my sentiment about my dad. He has been my hero every day of my life!

From the magic words than would erase my childhood bumps & bruises to the more serious task of seeing me through some very difficult times as an adult, he has always been there & is the one person I have always believed could make just about anything okay. Superpowers? Maybe not, but no one will ever convince me otherwise!

It could be said that raising me definitely provided my parents with a challenge. I can only guess how frustrating it was for Dad to attempt to call home for hours & find the line perpetually busy. I was only allowed to talk for ten minutes, but I talked for ten minutes to at least ten people a night. Far be it for me to end a conversation with a boy I liked just because my dad might be trying to call! I pushed the envelope with clothes, hairstyles, money & curfews as well. Only when I became a parent myself did I fully understand how I must have driven mine crazy! But through it all, the one thing I could always count on was my parents’ unconditional love.

My dad’s advice was sound, I didn't always follow it. I can still hear him telling me “if you don’t need boots on a day like this, you might as well not own any” as I was leaving for school. Fashionista that I was, I refused to substitute the ugly snow boots for the cute shoes. “There’s not much future in dancing, you may want to open a book.” Maybe I did study a little more, but I would not give up my dance classes, going to dances or practicing my dance moves in front of a mirror at home. Instead, I ditched the more practical activity of piano lessons much to my parents' chagrin. “If you’re too sick to go to church, you’re too sick to leave the house.” Well, both of my parents said this & meant it so I only played hooky once…lesson learned!

There were times I thought I’d be in big trouble & was pleasantly surprised to discover I was in no trouble whatsoever. Once my friends & I added a blonde streak in our hair. My mother was horrified & warned me to just wait until my father got home. My siblings were salivating as they waited for the big reveal & my impending punishment. Dad came home & absolutely did not notice that night or all the nights that followed. (Or maybe he did notice & just thought it was not a battle he cared to wage with me.) When I became a licensed driver I had three wrecks within a very short period of time. A case can be made for two of these not being my fault, but the third clearly was. I inadvertenly pulled out in front of an oncoming car & had all my siblings with me. I fully expected to lose my driving priviledges for an extended period of time. Dad arrived & very calmly told me that any time no one was injured, it was just a money issue & that money issues could be fixed. I was definitely hesitant to get behind the wheel again, but Dad encouraged me to do so. I’ve thought on these events often as I dealt with my sons’ ear piercings, shaved heads & their own auto accidents. Dad always understood that some lessons are just learned by living.

Dad believed in family togetherness, especially on vacations. I am still amazed that every summer we were able to cram our family of six plus luggage into a station wagon & take off pulling the trailer that would be our home for the next couple of weeks. To say we were in close quarters both in the car & the trailer (where every possible surface turned into a bed) is a complete understatement, but it was fun & definitely an adventure!

Dad often has nicknames for people. I have always been "Dewey" to him which has been rather embarrassing when he has used that nickname in public. One he called the orthodontic office where I worked & asked for Dewey...my coworkers never let me live it down! Of course Dewey is preferable to the nicknames he had for my cousins, Anne & Pam, who were "Slimy Lizard" & "Chicken Gizzard!"

Several years ago Dad & I were sitting on my deck. I was distraught & frightened about my very uncertain future. He told me "you don't have a problem; we have a problem. Indeed he knew a burden shared would be far easier for me to manage. It was with a genuine sense of relief that I realized I was not navigating the waters alone.

Oprah would say, “10 things I know for sure.” David Letterman would create a top 10 list. Here are 10 absolutes about my Dad:

1) He loves his family & would absolutely do anything at any time to help any one of us.

2) He is a great role model for how to be a wonderful parent. With noteable exceptions...yes, Dad still laughs at the time I told Ryan he would never be allowed to read again after he had torn up his Dr. Seuss book in his crib…I have tried to follow his example with my sons.

3) He sacrificed for his country by serving in the US Navy in World War II. When we’d go to the beach I was always amazed at how Dad could float on his back in the ocean for huge periods of time & swim so strongly against the current. Years later I realized that he had been in a number of perilous situations during wartime & these were part of his survival skills.

4) He lives his faith; loves the Lord; loves his church & his church family.

5) He will fall asleep at inappropriate times & in inappropriate places. My mother used to have to nudge him awake in church & he has definitely fallen asleep while entertaining company at the house. For guests who have over-stayed, his famous line is “I’d better go to bed now. These people may want to go home.”

6) He will unfailingly get someone’s name or the name of a place wrong. We all know him so well though that we know exactly what he means. So when he asks me if I want to go to “Ipod” for breakfast, I drive straight to “IHop.”

7) He can talk his way into places no one else is allowed. Although I’ve always found this an intriguing & admirable skill, it was never more important to me than on the night Trent was born. It was determined by the doctors that there may be a problem with Trent’s heart & that an emergency C-section was necessary. I was overwhelmed with fear & worry. Dad came into see me right before surgery & assured me that he would check on Trent as soon as they brought him out & would report back to me. True to his word Dad chased the isolette down the hallway & finegled his way into the nursery where he stayed while Trent was tested. Then he came down & somehow talked his way into the authorized-personel-only surgery recovery room to let me know Trent was fine. And there was never a doubt in my mind that he would figure out a way to do it!

8)He is a great & loyal friend. Dad collects people & whether it's a handyman or the CEO of a company, he treats everyone with kindness & respect. He has given friends who disappointed him or let him down second, third & even fourth chances; however, anyone who hurts one of us falls completely off his radar screen.

9)He loves sports...especially Mountaineer sports & has passed this on to all four of his children, many of his grandchildren & even a great-grandchild. As a child Adam would crawl up into the recliner with Dad & watch sports on tv for hours. Last year little Drew crawled up into his lap & said "Jack, let's talk about football."

10)He is funny. He can tell a joke well & is great with a funny story. His antics can be inadvertently hilarious! And he has a great sense of humor! And the comments he makes in his stage whisper (that usually can be heard across the room!)...funny, but sometimes embarrassing!

No, superheroes don't always wear capes...sometimes they just take their daughter fishing or ice skating or teach her how to ski or how to plant tomatoes...or fix her cuts & scrapes...or comfort her when they can't fix her broken heart...or insist that she goes to church so that she will have a foundation of faith & a set of values...or tease her when she takes herself too seriously...or show her how to be a good parent by example...or love her even when she's pretty unlovable! In my heart my superhero will always be my dad.

Happy Birthday, Daddy! Thanks for always being there for me...for teaching me the joys of love & laughter& the value of faith, family & friends...I love you!!!

Dewey

11 comments:

Sharon Krantz said...

Oh, Jill. I laughed and I cried while reading this. So sweet, so poignant,so memorable. You have truly been blessed with your father and he has been truly blessed with a daughter who both cherishes, appreciates, and respects him. Truly, it can't get any better than that. Bless you both.

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Headlights said...

Wow! That was very informative and interesting as well. Inspiring, I should say and I think I found my own superhero. Of course, without a cape. Thanks or sharing this.

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